My day so far

5.50am Alarm goes off to wake Foxy to go to the airport. Roll over and go back to sleep.
5.58am Foxy’s phone rings as he’s in the shower. It’s the taxi.
6am Listen to Foxy splashing about the bathroom like a tall Irish duck.
6.05am Enquire loudly if I might get a coffee brought to me in bed considering the early hour.
6.10am Enquire again, louder.
6.11am Enquire if he has any intention of ever making me a coffee, ever, in our relationship, since in three years he’s never made me a coffee and has cooked one meal which consisted of cold-yet-over-microwaved baked beans and some anorexic burnt toast.
6.15am Kiss Foxy goodbye. Make suggestive remarks as he is heading down the stairs so he has something nice to think about on his way to the airport.
6.25am Get myself a coffee. Go back to bed.
6.30am Turn on laptop, check email and Twitter, open manuscript to second book, read last two pages. Try to write. Ponder happily about how lovely it is to not have to work at an ad agency this week so I can really make some progress on second book.
6.40am Email parents and sister about Christmas presents.
6.45am Decide should just get Christmas shopping over and done with online right now so that I can write all day without distractions. Go to sheerluxe.com and as usual open 11 new tab windows for interesting things.
7.20am Realise that now is not the time to Christmas shop and I should use my fresh brain to write.
7.23am Father rings to discuss Christmas.
7.30am Get another coffee, go back to bed, think about Christmas. Feel intensely distracted.
7.40am Start writing now properly, seriously, that’s enough Gemma.
8.30am Get another coffee and porridge. Start reading India Knight’s blog as I eat as you can’t type and eat, can you? Immediately identify nine shops/blogs/sites to look at. Damn.
8.50am Start writing properly again. Wonder if new book sucks arse. Wonder if book that’s out in a few weeks sucks arse too. Stare into space for a few minutes pondering failure.
9.30am Email arrives from best friend in Australia. Am overcome with happiness and immediately start composing my email back to her in my head. This is hard to do when you’re also writing a book but somehow I am doing it. Wonder if perhaps have a Siamese-twin-style brain.
9.40am Accidentally type name of friend into manuscript. Do not have Siamese-twin-style brain.
9.43am Instruct self to write all social emails this evening and not before.
9.45am Fuck it, I’m having a shower.
9.50am Decide to exfoliate entire body and face as just because Foxy is away doesn’t mean I should let standards drop.
9.53am Ditto deep conditioner.
10am In jeans and very comfy grey jumper with my hair in a towel-turban, get onto (not into – huge difference) bed with laptop again. Start writing.
10.01am Remember that I haven’t posted a blog in a week and really ought to.
10.03am Skin very dry. Must moisturise. Don’t think this moisturiser is working for me. I wonder what they say about it on makeupalley.com.
10.04am Close makeupalley.com the minute I open it as will lose an hour if I don’t.
10.05am Should brush hair as otherwise will dry knotty. Hair is looking like shit I must say.
10.06am Really should write that blog.
10.19am Have spent last 13 minutes writing blog. Decide to save blog so I can come back to it later.
10.20am Decide to post blog right this second so it’s not another excuse for not writing.